Once Upon a Viking

Once Upon A Viking…

From classical antiquity, we have been trolled by the famed story of the Vikings. Our eyes were opened to the truth about the Vikings – all thanks to Queen Nadia of Egypt, a great leader and one of the greatest explorers of modern times. She discovered a papyrus buried deep below the water bed of the River Nile in Kinshasa – Legend, however has it; Zeus buried it in a bid to hide from the world, the true origin of the Vikings – the Vikings were from Africa!


Once upon a time, a long time ago, there lived a god: Hermes, god of transitions and boundaries, protector and patron of travellers, herdsmen, thieves, orators and wit, literature and poets, athletics and sports, invention and trade. Hermes was a tall, brave and handsome god. He was swift and overly cunning. Hermes was the son of Zeus, one of the youngest Olympian gods.

Hermes ever armed with his charm and cunningness caught the eye of beautiful goddess: Kleptia, the goddess of kleptomaniacs. Her beauty was so famed; even the sun gods and goddesses envied her beauty. Who could ever grace this famed beauty… the answer laid wait in charming Hermes. They fell in love so quickly, decided to get married soonest. The marriage ceremony would be performed by a happy father: Zeus, who was proud of his son`s feat: getting married to a beauty: Kleptia.

A few days passed, Kleptia was pregnant with child; after nine days and nights, she felt some discomfort, she immediately knew it was her child coming. On that night, a mirror in the birth arena cracked just as the child was born. Hermes and Kleptia knew everything was not going to be right.  It was a boy and they named him Van gữmia meaning: broken spirit. Van gữmia`s early years saw him do things that were a fall-out of what his parents will consider moral. He became the vigilante of the kingdom.

His parents were made laughing stocks amongst the gods – Zeus was red with rage at the discovery of Van gữmia`s conduct that brought shame to them. Zeus took a decision his son wasn’t man-enough to take – he banished Van gữmia to an unknown land, it was Africa, the Benin-kingdom.

It was the reign of Oba Ewuare the Great – he was a great warrior, notorious for conquering villages, towns and every other thing that wasn’t his. On one of his quest, he discovered Van gữmia – Van gữmia had been stuck under a tree for three days with no food or water. He was already looking frail and sick. Oba Ewuare took pity on him – he ordered his men to carry Van gữmia along with them as they headed right back home.

Van gữmia was kept in a room, taken proper care of and right then, he was requested to grace the presence of Oba Ewuare. Asked to narrate his story, Van gữmia was still in low spirit as he was now away from his parents, friends and everyone he loved – he could barely utter a word. Oba Ewuare was raged at this; he brought out his tool of correction: the koboko. He whipped the daylight out of Van gữmia; miraculously, he was back to life. The story of this correction tool spread across the shores of Africa like wild fire.

Oba Ewuare became fond of Van gữmia; he took him on every raid and war he went on, Van gữmia trained with the warriors, won wars with his adopted father. Oba Ewuare was so proud of him. On one misty morning, the 7th year of his existence, Oba Ewuare was quickly alerted of this strange phenomenon. He stepped out of his chambers, wore his royal robes and looked from his balcony. He retorted: ‘this is a blessing from our ancestors, the beginning of a new, good thing’ he said. Not too far was Van gữmia, a renewed young child was busy pilfering from his Oba Ewuare’s room – it was a little bracelet Oba Ewuare got from His grand-mother. Van gữmia had received all the spirits he needed to be a true offspring of his parents.

He became notoriously bad, Oba Ewuare stopped for a moment in fear of someone out-shinning him in his kingdom. Van gữmia was banished, a second time; this time it was out of the land, he set on the road to wherever his journey would take him. Van gữmia landed in Somalia after traveling for 29 days and nights. He wondered for some days, moved deep into the woods where he got into a fight with a young boy named Isik – this name was a wrong spelling of Isaac because of his unusually large eyes. Isik was skilled at making boats. His banishing hinged on the fact: he was too ugly to be associated with his family. Van gữmia and Isik became friends right after they both narrated their own stories; they discovered they had something in common: they were both rejects! They pulled their strengths together and began raiding villages. Soon, they moved into bigger towns and became notoriously known.

Isik suggested they steal from farmers that carried their goods through the waters. He made a ship which was very long solely for the aim of carting away more stolen goods. Van gữmia noticed they were faster on this particular boat… Isik was useful after all! They conquered many waters, many villages; they became the nightmare of farmers, merchants and villagers.

Having gained so much prominence, it was only a matter of time before questions and musings began lingering about who they were. Some people got wind of the meaning of Van gữmia’s name as well as his travails – he as well as Isik became laughing stocks rather than feared people. By this time, Van gữmia and Isik had gained so many followers that raided with them on their famed raids. On one of their conquered islands, island Vaholl. They settled in there and for a moment and there was a rift between Van gữmia and Isik – there had to be a king, Van gữmia felt he was the most important of the two; he should be made king. They both agreed to be kings – they were known as the V-I kings.

The Vaholl island, kingdom of the V-I kings was a feared one. No stranger dared enter the island – though, some nosy people dared a raid on the island but they never ever returned. After enjoying so much success, raiding and stealing, the continent of Africa was hit with famine; the V-I kings knew they had to search for green pastures elsewhere. They chose Europe as their destination – they set sail to their destination. Van gữmia, eager to see his homeland once again, died at sea after a brief illness. Isik was left alone. The landed in Norway; Isik was not a skilled fighter – he still led his men to raid. One of such raids, he was killed.

The followers came together to select a new leader and choose a name. Not to look too far, they sought solace in the names of their kings and chose the name ‘Vikings’. The spirits of their kings wondered for a while – Van gữmia suggested they lift their island to the sky and live there. Van gữmia, reunited with his father was lent some power which he used to lift the Vaholl Island up to the sky. When a glorious Viking leaves the earth, he moves to eternal rest in the Valhalla. That is why the Vikings never ever live a decent life – they would rather die fighting than die in bed.

This piece was written by a class of 9-11 yr olds at Greenspings School. I didn’t edit any part of this – Sure you can spot obvious errors kids can make but this is just fantastic.

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